Changes.
(and pictures)
(with a post-script about El Salvador)

Part I: A bunch of unattributed quotations

• Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.
• The more things change, the more they stay the same.
• If you're in a bad situation, don't worry: it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry: it'll change.
• They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
• Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
• All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.
• Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are.
• I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

Part II: A brief account of my inner life the past two weeks, in no particular order

• I'm no longer feeling horribly out of control, only mildly so. Acceptance and resignation are sometimes hard to tell apart.
• I've had quite a number of periods of calm, happiness, hopefulness, and/or wisdom to go along with my sense of despondency, hopelessness, and being overwhelmed.
  
• I've accomplished a bunch of little things, given up on a few, and made discernible inroads into a few more.
• I've taken a few steps towards resolving some of the more outstanding issues.
• A few unexpected good things have happened, and I've enjoyed them thoroughly.
  
• I've regained my ability to be at least mildly amused by my own moods, to laugh/shrug (again, sometimes difficult to tell apart) at more of my dissatisfactions, and to remember a lot of the small things that make life saner
• I've become sick and tired of my foul disposition, and so less prone to take it as seriously, while acknowledging that hey, what the hell, I am possessed of one hell of an inner bitch. I'm sure it must be a strength as well as a fault...
• I refuse to pretend that everything is fine, and I also refuse to let the fact that everything is not fine overshadow all the things that are.
• I'm OK with being dissatisfied with my life right now. Did I already say that?
• I'm ready to give some serious thought as to what I do and do not want to do anything about.
• I'm really freaking tired of taking too much too seriously too much of the time. Screw that.
  

Part III: Lyrics to the Phil Ochs song "Changes" (my favourite version of which is Ian & Sylvia's)

Sit by my side, come as close as the air,
Share in a memory of gray;
Wander in my words, dream about the pictures
That I play of changes.

Green leaves of summer turn red in the fall
To brown and to yellow they fade.
And then they have to die, trapped within
the circle time parade of changes.

Scenes of my young years were warm in my mind,
Visions of shadows that shine.
Til one day I returned and found they were the
Victims of the vines of changes.

The world's spinning madly, it drifts in the dark
Swings through a hollow of haze,
A race around the stars, a journey through
The universe ablaze with changes.

Moments of magic will glow in the night
All fears of the forest are gone
But when the morning breaks they're swept away by
golden drops of dawn, of changes.

Passions will part to a strange melody.
As fires will sometimes burn cold.
Like petals in the wind, we're puppets to the silver
strings of souls, of changes.

Your tears will be trembling, now we're somewhere else,
One last cup of wine we will pour
And I'll kiss you one more time, and leave you on
the rolling river shores of changes.

Sit by my side, come as close as the air,
Share in a memory of gray;
Wander in my words, dream about the pictures
That I play of changes.

Part IV: The inevitable reference to dogs and the outdoor world we share












L'chaim, ya'll!

Part V: The Post-Script
I finally got to hear about my daughter Mackenzie's adventures as an international elections monitor in El Salvador in March. What an amazing experience, and how much I learned from her story!
Democracy. Not that old a concept, when you think about it. We (in the U.S. and many other countries) take it so much for granted now, and yet such a short distance away, geographically, it's a precious, treasured, fragile gift that needs to be carefully protected and actively nurtured. There, people who fight for their rights as citizens of a democracy risk their lives and those of their families and friends. At least one family of an activist was murdered before the election.
The really great thing, aside from the wonderful news that the good guys won, is that the people of El Salvador stood up to the ruling party's attempts to defraud and intimidate them, to deprive them of their democratic rights. When busloads of people were brought across the border from neighboring countries to vote (fraudulently) in the elections, citizens of El Salvador literally stood in solidarity, gathered en masse and simply refused to let these people out of the stadium where they'd been housed for the night, keeping them from getting to the polls.
Mackenzie and her group spent a lot of time meeting with groups of activists of all kinds, of all ages, talking and listening and encouraging and sharing. Their presence made a difference in achieving free elections and a return to democratic government in El Salvador, and they also served as ambassadors for the fight for freedom and human rights. They showed the people of El Salvador that the world cares about them and their struggles, and is willing to put that caring into action.
Mackenzie, it is such an honour to be your Mom!